squeeze

A special guest photographer today... My good friend Brent snapped this in Montana while Elk hunting. I told him it reminds me of the civil war. What this picture doesn't tell is the fact he also had a .44 strapped to his hip at all times in case the Grizzlies came searching for a snack. He took a big elk down on that trip and field dressed it while his dad stood guard from another ridge, safety off, watching for predators approaching from the blind side. That's pretty fucking cool.
Tomorrow morning at 5 am I'm heading into the midwestern darkness, driving toward the rising sun for my first deer hunt. By 7am I'll be sitting in a stand with Brent, smoking convenience store cigars and waiting for some unfortunate mammal to cross our loaded path. I'll only drink twelve ounces of coffee instead of twenty to keep my hand steady for the kill shot. Brent is very encouraging. His exact quote was, "Get your game face on, we need to get some meat." But can I really shoot a deer? Shit, I can shoot a bird; they hardly bleed. But can I look in those big eyes and squeeze the trigger? Years ago in Virginia I came across a deer freshly knotted in a barbed wire fence. I stood and watched as my brother-in-law untangled her legs from the metal with a long stick and a good amount of caution. She was snorting and hissing in a fear driven panic. She finally broke free and ran full speed down the slope and across the road, gone in six strides at most. It was, to say the least, powerful. That deer did not want to die. I'd imagine none of them do. Which brings me right back to the question: Can I squeeze the trigger?